Reflections on Releasing the Old

    There has been this feeling lately of shifting into a different person. The things that used to matter to me are slowly fading into the background. They are not completely going away but they are not as prominent as they used to be. Things like wanting to do as much as possible in order to impress those aroung me. It was really important to me to prove that I was worthy of affection and attention and I thought the way to do that was to be the I-can-do-everything-girl. I was placing my value on being able to show people that I wasn't boring.  I used to drive myself crazy trying to integrate everything I wanted to do into my life. Instead of feeling fulfilled and accomplished, I felt overwhelmed and incapable of seeing anything through to the end. Failure was a word that would often flash through my mind. 

    So, what I'm starting to do now is pick one or two things that I really want to focus on and putting my energy into doing those things well. Things like creating a comfortable and inviting home and celebrating the small pleasures and joys in life. As a woman, now in her forties, I have come to realize that we can do anything but we can't do everything. It's been a somewhat difficult shift in mindset. Changes like this can leave us unsure of who we are or what we should be doing. I know I've been questioning what's really important to me. Asking myself what kind of life I want to build going forward. 

    This means narrowing our focus and in order to do that we need to be real about who we want to be. This takes time, effort and compassion; above all compassion. It's so easy for us to be hard on ourselves when we don't succeed or when things don't go the way we planned. Instead of self deprication, let's choose to learn from the experience and take those lessons with us into the future. I am not talking about resolutions.  That term has become synonymous with a promise already broken. Think about what you really want to accomplish in your life, what you're going to look back on and be glad that you did. 

    When you start to figure that out, who you want to be will also become clearer. I would argue that accomplishment isn't nearly as important as authenticity, anyway. And what is authentic will look different for everyone. Even what is authentic for ourselves can change over time. And that can be the real tricky part. We are taught that stasis and everything staying the same is the ideal but that plateau robs us of seeing the many different perspectives that our life can take. Be willing to experience the peaks and the valleys, the summers and the winters, the stillness and the change with the same wonder and gratitude. Release that which no longer serves to make way for new adventures. 

    The person I want to be is in awe of life, doesn't take things for granted and is willing to offer what I can to those in need, and to trust that others will do the same. The life that I want to build has space for nuance, is abundant with kindness and allows playfulness and whimsy. How about you?